Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Internet 101

Also known as "Dude, What is UP with the Internet??!"

The great and awesome thing about the internet is that you're anonymous. As anonymous as you want to be. You can say whatever you want about people you hate, and you're anonymous. Even if you give someone your name, you're anonymous. You're just a name.

Except when you're not anonymous anymore.

See, that's where the term "Internet Dating" becomes a bit of an oxymoron. Everyone rags on internet dating as if it's the lowest, most desperate form of dating. While I have to say it's a very convenient way of meeting people, I am quickly discovering just how bad it can be.

This is because some people have done too much "Internet" and not enough "Dating"...

Seriously, if you've never been on a date, and you get on those internet dating sites, please... don't. It's people like you who make people like me feel like dirt. It's people like you who give Internet Dating a bad name. I'm not trying to be mean here, really, but I'm trying to be straight up. If you post one, crappy picture and have three sentences that describe you as an average, run-of-the-mill loser, please do the rest of us (you know, those of us who actually try to meet interesting people) a favor and go out and get some real, honest-to-god social skills before coming back and wasting your hard-earned money on a dating site. Learn how to create a profile, at the very least. If you claim to be looking for "Any" height, weight, income, education, interests, likes, dislikes, career, pets, etc, the only thing I can assume is that you really don't care who contacts you. So if you "wink" at me, I'm going to assume that you're "winking" at every girl on the site, and I will not - I repeat, NOT - be inclined to reply.

Yes, I'm on an Internet Dating site. I'm trying to Meet People.

I should also point out that Internet Humor is not amusing, attractive or endearing. This is, perhaps, my biggest gripe. Toto, I don't think we're on teh Internetz anymoar! Your little 'net buddies might think that cracking sexist and racist jokes at every opportunity is oh-so-high-larious, but it's not fucking funny. Like I said before, you're anonymous on the Internet. You're not anonymous on the phone. Or in person. I know exactly who you are. And with every "make me a sandwich" crack you're digging yourself into a deep, dark cistern. I assumed, when you messaged me on a dating site you were interested in actually, y'know, DATING me. So why, oh why in god's name would you think it was CUTE to tell me about the massive dump you took this morning?? Or why would you think it was attractive to tell me to bring you a beer, or to refer to cleaning toilets and floors as "woman's work"??

I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you?

Guys, let me enlighten you, if you haven't already figured it out....

The way to get a girl is NOT to insult her and her sex. Nor is it to make yourself look like an ignorant cunt. I don't care how rich or educated you are. If you've already revealed the depth of your crassness and bigotry on the phone and in email, there is no way in hell I'm going to meet you in person.

/rant

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Celebrate good times, COME ON!!

Ok, as an amendment to the previous post, I should extend my compliments to Hillary for "suspending" her campaign. I know exactly why she's not terminating. She needs the money. She can't continue to raise money to pay off her debt if she terminates her campaign, so she's holding on a little longer to get what she can. Plus, like college loans, if she quits early (before the convention) she has to pay back all her loans much sooner.

I don't know how I feel about her being veep, though. I would be supportive if Obama asked her to be and then she turned him down - she can maintain her dignity and be free to pursue her own course of action. But I'm really afraid that if she got on the ticket with him, all the drama surrounding the primary season will just come back and linger. I think there's just too much baggage, and the last thing we, as Democrats, need is more baggage. We're already viewed as whiny, stubborn liberals. We need someone who's free of baggage.

This is a milestone in history for a variety of reasons. It's sad that despite women getting the chance to vote before blacks, they don't get a shot at the white house first. But the difference goes much more than skin deep.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, since this is my blog and no one gets to argue with me (not that anyone even reads this in the first place). I don't believe that the differences between races (skin color) are nearly as dramatic and significant as the differences between sexes. I don't think this is really a point of contention, honestly. Besides the physical aspects (I mean more than just thingies and hoo-hoos), emotionally and mentally we are different. Well, duh.

I don't mean to say that a woman would make a crappy president. I don't mean to say that men are better leaders. I just think that the differences between men and women are so deeply ingrained in our society that, rather than trying to ignore them by covering up our bodies and blowing off our monthly pains, we need to embrace and celebrate our differences.

I suck at cooking, I don't own a vaccuum, and I don't spend an hour putting on makeup and doing my hair. I'm smart, I'm outgoing, I'm assertive. I have a lot of qualities that most men possess - I like fixing things, I love football, and I love cars. I hate it when people call me "sweetie" or "kiddo", and I hate it when men talk to me and look at me like I'm a piece of ass.

But I love being a woman. I have to confess, it gives me warm fuzzies when a guy gets nervous talking to me or when a guy opens the door for me. I really like the traditional date, where the guy pays. I prefer the guy to make the first move, though I might move in first if he's talking too long for my taste. This doesn't make me an anti-feminist. At least I don't think so. I consider myself a very strong feminist. I believe that every human deserves equality, and with that equality comes choice. I will never judge a woman who wants to stay home with her children. I am a career woman, but I can't say what I will feel when I have children. But I'm glad that I have a choice in the matter. I know I will always have that choice, and that makes me comfortable.

When I say that I think the differences between men and women should be celebrated, not ignored, I mean that I think men and women are equal, but different. I am just as good as you, even though I look and act differently. I ask to be treated with the same respect and dignity that you treat anyone else. Just because I bleed once a month and have the ability to bear children doesn't mean that I'm fragile. That is what I think of when I think of feminism.

Then again, maybe I'm just another looney.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

And the winner is...


Compliments of www.dieselsweeties.com

Has anyone told Hillary yet? No seriously, cause I don't think she's heard the news. Dude, you LOST. Stop making all women look bad and just bow out graciously. Obama has already CLINCHED it, and she's still up there trying to make her case. It's like the whole party has packed up and left and she's still on the stage, talking into a dead mic. Even your supporters have resigned themselves to asking for you to be Veep. But you still won't concede. What point are you trying to make? You're just making the DNC look bad. We understand that this is a great big turning point in our nation's history, but you really need to understand that you're making women look bad. After you it's going to be a long time before any women gets to where you are again. Let it go already, please?

I'm a woman, I know it's hard to get anywhere, but sometimes you've got to be the bigger man and be a gracious loser. Being a sore loser makes you just look like a whiny bitch. And no one likes a whiny bitch, no matter what they have between their legs.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Big Fat Liar

I fucking hate liars. No, seriously, I'm not even kidding. Don't lie to me. Don't tell me "it's not you, it's me." And no, rewording it doesn't count. "I'm just really busy and I think it's best for all parties involved if I'm just single right now." Bullshit. BULL. SHIT.

I'm a woman, I'm not an idiot. If you don't feel the chemistry, that's fine, I probably don't feel it either. If you met someone else you'd like to try it out with, great, I'm not your girlfriend. I'm not fragile. I'm not going to cry over a guy I've gone out with TWICE. This ain't high school, my life isn't over after every guy.

This is ridiculous. It's one thing to stop calling. It's another thing to lead me on, telling me "let's still be friends" and giving me a big pile of steaming shit you call a story. If you don't have the balls to tell me straight up that it's not going to work, you're not worth my time, as a friend or otherwise. I have fucking integrity, and I won't buy it.

While we're talking about liars, don't get me started on the stupid crap that unneccessarily makes me look/feel like an idiot. If you think this top makes me look like a fat skank, TELL ME. You think I WANT to look like a fat skank? No. Sometimes girls need an honest opinion. Now, I'll admit, I'm not like most girls. I don't ask a question if I don't want an honest answer. Most girls aren't like that. Most girls want you to tell them those pants look hot, even if they make her look like a cow. Not me. If these pants make me look like a cow, I'd rather know it, so I can throw them out and get some pants that DON'T make me look like a cow.

On the same vein, if I talk too much or if my apartment is too messy for you, or you can't deal with my baggage as it is, TELL ME. If half the guys I've gone on a date with told me one thing that was wrong with me, I'd probably be married by now. I'd have found all my flaws and I'd have FIXED them. But I can't fix something if I don't know it's fucking BROKEN.

No, I'm not perfect. I won't pretend I am. I'm just another fucked up woman trying to figure out where she fits in the world. And if everyone I meet gives me one piece of constructive criticism, I might just be able to figure that out before I die.


P.S. I'm not always this angry, really. I'm just more interesting when I am. :)