Internet 101

Also known as "Dude, What is UP with the Internet??!"

The great and awesome thing about the internet is that you're anonymous. As anonymous as you want to be. You can say whatever you want about people you hate, and you're anonymous. Even if you give someone your name, you're anonymous. You're just a name.

Except when you're not anonymous anymore.

See, that's where the term "Internet Dating" becomes a bit of an oxymoron. Everyone rags on internet dating as if it's the lowest, most desperate form of dating. While I have to say it's a very convenient way of meeting people, I am quickly discovering just how bad it can be.

This is because some people have done too much "Internet" and not enough "Dating"...

Seriously, if you've never been on a date, and you get on those internet dating sites, please... don't. It's people like you who make people like me feel like dirt. It's people like you who give Internet Dating a bad name. I'm not trying to be mean here, really, but I'm trying to be straight up. If you post one, crappy picture and have three sentences that describe you as an average, run-of-the-mill loser, please do the rest of us (you know, those of us who actually try to meet interesting people) a favor and go out and get some real, honest-to-god social skills before coming back and wasting your hard-earned money on a dating site. Learn how to create a profile, at the very least. If you claim to be looking for "Any" height, weight, income, education, interests, likes, dislikes, career, pets, etc, the only thing I can assume is that you really don't care who contacts you. So if you "wink" at me, I'm going to assume that you're "winking" at every girl on the site, and I will not - I repeat, NOT - be inclined to reply.

Yes, I'm on an Internet Dating site. I'm trying to Meet People.

I should also point out that Internet Humor is not amusing, attractive or endearing. This is, perhaps, my biggest gripe. Toto, I don't think we're on teh Internetz anymoar! Your little 'net buddies might think that cracking sexist and racist jokes at every opportunity is oh-so-high-larious, but it's not fucking funny. Like I said before, you're anonymous on the Internet. You're not anonymous on the phone. Or in person. I know exactly who you are. And with every "make me a sandwich" crack you're digging yourself into a deep, dark cistern. I assumed, when you messaged me on a dating site you were interested in actually, y'know, DATING me. So why, oh why in god's name would you think it was CUTE to tell me about the massive dump you took this morning?? Or why would you think it was attractive to tell me to bring you a beer, or to refer to cleaning toilets and floors as "woman's work"??

I bet you think this blog is about you, don't you?

Guys, let me enlighten you, if you haven't already figured it out....

The way to get a girl is NOT to insult her and her sex. Nor is it to make yourself look like an ignorant cunt. I don't care how rich or educated you are. If you've already revealed the depth of your crassness and bigotry on the phone and in email, there is no way in hell I'm going to meet you in person.

/rant